[He sounds so firm. So sure. That feeling stirs again along with a sense of relief. He's nothing like his mirror. He's nothing like him.
But that's wrong, isn't it? He shouldn't be happy to hear he's not like him. Relief shouldn't be flooding his soul at the thought. No, it's a compliment to be like his mirror. It's a good thing. They're both selfish and cruel but talented stars and they own that designation. They're not nice. And that's fine.]
I. I mean. That's. One way to look at it.
[His head feels a little muddied right now. Starting to mix things up. But he can focus on Chara. Yes. They make sense.]
Both of those kids need so much. They deserve so much better than they got. So much more than they continue to get.
[He doesn't know why he's saying this now. Especially in front of his mirror but he wants to say it. He almost feels like he needs to say it, like caring for them is more than just caring for them but that's silly. It's silly. He's being silly and weak.]
Sans, I am listening. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I am not listening entirely.
[His mirror is good. He can be rude and mean and strange but he's good. He's good because he takes care of Mettaton. He supports him. Despite being separated from him, his mirror does his best to make sure he never leaves Mettaton's side and he's grateful. Yes. Grateful.
...Papyrus's mirror. Right. That was when Sans...
The hand tugs, insistent. Right. Gotta go.]
Mm. Fine. I'll try to pay attention to this but really it's a waste of time.
[A waste of time. A waste of space. A waste of energy. There's nothing to worry about Sans. Mettaton tentatively closes his hand over his mirror's again.
[He's quiet, listening, trying to--trying to read between the lines, like he always does. It just...doesn't make sense. That's one way to look at it? No, Sans is pretty sure it's basically the only way to look at it, unless you're literally capable of being two different people, in two places at once. The kids deserve better? Yes, obviously, but that's not really what they're talking about here. He's listening, but he doesn't agree? Why the hell wouldn't he agree?]
[It's a waste of time?]
[It's a waste of time.]
[And he mentioned Papyrus's Mirror, and all of that, and usually Mettaton is awfully careful about that stuff. Awfully gentle, and he doesn't really need to. Sans is pretty sure that Mettaton is still kind of torn up about it, which also doesn't make sense, but in a more familiar way. In the familiar "why would anyone care that much about me" sort of way.]
[And he's thinking about that split-second moment when he saw a bone flying toward Papyrus, a split-second decision that wasn't even really a decision, how it felt like he had all the time in the world to decide, and no time at all, and how time is funny like that.]
[And he's thinking about the very particular feeling that comes with dying at the hands of someone you care about.]
mettaton.
[But it's a waste of time. Waste of time to think about all that. Waste of time to worry about something like that happening again, because it's not like Sans can stop it.]
[He's said too much. He knows this. His mirror knows this. The grip on his fingers would be painful if Mettaton thought about it.
He messed up. He shouldn't have talked. Don't engage. Don't fight.]
What's going on with me?
[He... laughs. It's funny. This is funny. Brush this off. Laugh it off.
And then make some changes. This method won't work anymore. He doesn't need to look at the mirror to know that he thinks so too.]
Nothing is going on with me, Sans. You're reading into something that isn't there. Now really, I must go.
[I'll talk to you later he almost says but that's not right, is it? He won't talk to him later. He can't talk to him. He's distracting him from what he needs to do.
He looks to the mirror and already he sees the plan: hide the mirrors when you leave, put extra locks on your door, have an exit strategy to leave the room unnoticed if he or others get too pushy. This is gonna be a long talk between them but it's needed.]
Good bye, Sans.
[He ends the connection. He hangs up. Then he gets to work.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-04-15 05:54 am (UTC)But that's wrong, isn't it? He shouldn't be happy to hear he's not like him. Relief shouldn't be flooding his soul at the thought. No, it's a compliment to be like his mirror. It's a good thing. They're both selfish and cruel but talented stars and they own that designation. They're not nice. And that's fine.]
I. I mean. That's. One way to look at it.
[His head feels a little muddied right now. Starting to mix things up. But he can focus on Chara. Yes. They make sense.]
Both of those kids need so much. They deserve so much better than they got. So much more than they continue to get.
[He doesn't know why he's saying this now. Especially in front of his mirror but he wants to say it. He almost feels like he needs to say it, like caring for them is more than just caring for them but that's silly. It's silly. He's being silly and weak.]
Sans, I am listening. Just because I don't agree doesn't mean I am not listening entirely.
[His mirror is good. He can be rude and mean and strange but he's good. He's good because he takes care of Mettaton. He supports him. Despite being separated from him, his mirror does his best to make sure he never leaves Mettaton's side and he's grateful. Yes. Grateful.
...Papyrus's mirror. Right. That was when Sans...
The hand tugs, insistent. Right. Gotta go.]
Mm. Fine. I'll try to pay attention to this but really it's a waste of time.
[A waste of time. A waste of space. A waste of energy. There's nothing to worry about Sans. Mettaton tentatively closes his hand over his mirror's again.
Nothing to worry about at all.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-15 06:33 am (UTC)[It's a waste of time?]
[It's a waste of time.]
[And he mentioned Papyrus's Mirror, and all of that, and usually Mettaton is awfully careful about that stuff. Awfully gentle, and he doesn't really need to. Sans is pretty sure that Mettaton is still kind of torn up about it, which also doesn't make sense, but in a more familiar way. In the familiar "why would anyone care that much about me" sort of way.]
[And he's thinking about that split-second moment when he saw a bone flying toward Papyrus, a split-second decision that wasn't even really a decision, how it felt like he had all the time in the world to decide, and no time at all, and how time is funny like that.]
[And he's thinking about the very particular feeling that comes with dying at the hands of someone you care about.]
mettaton.
[But it's a waste of time. Waste of time to think about all that. Waste of time to worry about something like that happening again, because it's not like Sans can stop it.]
[It's not like Sans can ever stop anything.]
what the hell is going on with you?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-15 11:10 pm (UTC)He messed up. He shouldn't have talked. Don't engage. Don't fight.]
What's going on with me?
[He... laughs. It's funny. This is funny. Brush this off. Laugh it off.
And then make some changes. This method won't work anymore. He doesn't need to look at the mirror to know that he thinks so too.]
Nothing is going on with me, Sans. You're reading into something that isn't there. Now really, I must go.
[I'll talk to you later he almost says but that's not right, is it? He won't talk to him later. He can't talk to him. He's distracting him from what he needs to do.
He looks to the mirror and already he sees the plan: hide the mirrors when you leave, put extra locks on your door, have an exit strategy to leave the room unnoticed if he or others get too pushy. This is gonna be a long talk between them but it's needed.]
Good bye, Sans.
[He ends the connection. He hangs up. Then he gets to work.]
+1 to ZEZPQB BT FRESMNF IZDVZ BEFVQN GC NBVBW
no subject
Date: 2017-04-15 11:19 pm (UTC)[He feels something like dread. Like something terrible is about to happen, and there's not a damn thing he can do to stop it.]
[It's a familiar feeling.]
no, wait. don't go. metta, wait--
[Too late.]
[He's always too late.]